Level Up Your Emotional Game = Boost Your Business

Emotional intelligence is reportedly the strongest predictor of work performance.¹ In fact, researchers say that IQ accounts only for 20% when it comes to a person’s success in life – the rest depends on how high your EQ is.²

If you put together a team of people with high IQ, they actually underperform a team made out of people with high emotional intelligence.³

In short, knowing yourself (wisdom) is more important than knowing how (cleverness).

And guess what?

While IQ is generally stable and there are still disagreements on whether it can truly change (some consider the measuring techniques unreliable,⁴ some say it can’t change at all,⁵ and others claim specific brain training can improve it⁶), EQ can definitely increase if you put in the work.⁷

Unsurprisingly, emotional intelligence is incredibly important in leadership. To quote Forbes:

“It’s no longer just a nice-to-have skill, but one of the World Economic Forum’s Top Ten skills to thrive in the fourth industrial revolution.”⁸

However, EQ doesn’t just affect your business; it has been shown to contribute to a person’s happiness,⁹ as well as their ability to cope with stress.¹⁰

If you boost your emotional game, your well-being and your business benefit as a result.

The Top Five

According to Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, there are five characteristics you ought to focus on if you want to develop your EQ:

1. Self-awareness

2. Self-regulation

3. Motivation

4. Empathy

5. Social skills

These all relate to how much you know yourself and how well you communicate with the world around you. As Harvard Business Review says:

“In order to truly learn to be a better leader, and to be better able to deal with power dynamics, you’ve got to figure yourself out.”¹¹

Let’s do precisely that.

Skill 1: Self-Awareness

Studies show we spend almost half of our time on autopilot. What’s worse, this state of mind doesn’t make us happy.¹²

On the other hand, cultivating self-awareness – the ability to see yourself objectively and be present – boosts self-control, productivity, positive self-development, confidence, and even decision-making.¹³

So, how do you become more self-aware? First, focus on internal self-awareness:¹⁴

1. Journal effectively. Instead of writing what you had for breakfast, focus on your inner states – what made you feel better today? What makes you most proud of yourself? Are there any specific traits you want to improve? A great journal dedicated to self-improvement is The Greatest Self-Help Book (is the one written by you): A Daily Journal for Gratitude, Happiness, Reflection and Self-Love.

2. Sit with yourself. Each day, no matter how busy, find one minute to just sit with your feelings. Focus on your breath. Give your body and mind proper attention, with no distractions.

3. Be present. Try mindful walking, eating, brushing your teeth, or buying groceries. If your thoughts drift away, come back to the present moment.

Now, let’s add external self-awareness:

1. Ask for feedback and accept it with grace. Find ways to improve your behaviour.

2. Listen to others without judgment and pay attention to what they say.

Skill 2: Self-Regulation

Emotions are of a chaotic nature. They come and go, wreaking havoc in our lives as they please.

Unless you know how to emotionally self-regulate, in which case you employ tactics that help you achieve a more Stoic state of mind – that of tranquillity, virtue, and inner calm.¹⁵

These strategies are:

1. Taking a pause between feeling and reacting. If you feel angry, for instance, you take a moment to process the emotion instead of blowing up on your business partner.

2. Cognitive reappraisal – viewing a situation from a new perspective. Instead of telling yourself your client hates you, reframe your thoughts: “My client is upset. We can take a five and then solve this situation more amiably.”

3. Self-compassion. Listen to your body and your mind as if you were your best friend. Give yourself the reassurance you need via positive affirmations, breathwork, or self-care.

Skill 3: Motivation

Motivation is an essential skill for every entrepreneur because you’ve got to be your own boss.

However, everyone’s unique, so various motivation techniques vary in effectiveness depending on the person and the context.

The key point that applies to everybody, though, is that you should always try to find intrinsic motivation within yourself – if you don’t love what you do, it will be incredibly difficult to get out of bed.

To find out more about how you can manufacture motivation and apply it in business, look this article.

Skill 4: Empathy

Empathy is among the top essential leadership skills, and 96% of employees rank empathy as important yet undervalued.¹⁶

Moreover, empathy has been linked to an increase in happiness.¹⁷ In turn, people who view happiness as flexible and controllable are actually more empathetic, which might mean that optimism positively affects how you empathize with the people around you.¹⁸

However, there’s a wrong way to do empathy. It sounds weird, but it’s true.

If you engage in the so-called self-oriented perspective taking – imagining you’re in someone else’s shoes – it may lead to personal distress rather than effective prosocial behaviour.¹⁹

When cultivating empathy, prioritize an other-oriented response. An associate professor of social psychology, Sarah Konrath, describes it thus:

“It’s a cognitive style of perspective taking where someone imagines another person’s perspective, reads their emotions, and can understand them in general.”²⁰

To empathize effectively:

• Embrace difference and acceptance

• Read fiction

• Ask open-ended questions

• Be willing to learn about others and second-guess your assumptions

Skill 5: Social Skills

Social skills are built on top of the previous four factors. If you’re self-aware, know how to self-regulate, motivate yourself and others, and practice empathy, social skills will partly come as a side effect.

To bring them to the next level, psychotherapist Amy Morin, LCSW, recommends you:²¹

• Encourage others to talk about themselves

• Offer encouragement & compliments and show how much you value your employees & co-partners

• Learn about the rules of body language and use it to appear more sociable

Another thing to keep in mind is to avoid the Golden Rule. Instead of treating others how you want to be treated, ask them what they want and act accordingly.

Everyone’s different. Remember that.

Final Words

The most important part of emotional intelligence is the willingness to grow and learn. Challenge yourself, don’t let obstacles discourage you, and always strive to be a better person – both in business and in life.

I’ll leave you with a quote from a leadership strategist, Shadé Zahrai:

“The real, tangible, bottom-line benefits of emotional intelligence are undeniable. Enhancing the emotional intelligence of your leaders might be the most impactful company investment you make.”²²

Until next time,

Michael
Focus on Founders

1. Emily May, The Statistics on Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace at Niagara Institute (2022)

2. Andrei Cotruş et al, EQ vs. IQ Which is Most Important in the Success or Failure of a Student? In Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, Vol. 46 (2012)

3. Jessica Stillman, EQ Matters More Than IQ for Group Success, New Harvard Study Says in Inc Magazine (2020)

4. Alan S. Kaufman and Kevin McGrew, cited in Lauren Cox, 5 Experts Answer: Can Your IQ Change? In LiveScience (2013)

5. Haier RJ., Increased intelligence is a myth (so far) in Front Syst Neurosci. (2014)

6. Stankov L, Lee J., We Can Boost IQ: Revisiting Kvashchev's Experiment in J Intell. (2020)

7. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Can You Really Improve Your Emotional Intelligence? In Harvard Business Review (2013)

8. Shade Zahrai, Seven Traits Of An Emotionally Intelligent Leader in Forbes (2021)

9. Ghahramani S, Jahromi AT, Khoshsoroor D, Seifooripour R, Sepehrpoor M., The relationship between emotional intelligence and happiness in medical students in Korean J Med Educ. (2019)

10. Yamani N, Shahabi M, Haghani F., The relationship between emotional intelligence and job stress in the faculty of medicine in Isfahan University of Medical Sciences in J Adv Med Educ Prof. (2014)

11. Annie McKee, How the Most Emotionally Intelligent CEOs Handle Their Power in Harvard Business Review (2016)

12. David Rock Ph.D., New Study Shows Humans Are on Autopilot Nearly Half the Time in Psychology Today (2010)

13. Courtney E. Ackerman, MA., What Is Self-Awareness? (+5 Ways to Be More Self-Aware) in Positive Psychology (2020)

14. Tasha Eurich, What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It) in Harvard Business Review (2018)

15. Jason Lewis Saunders, Stoicism in Britannica (2023)

16. State of Workplace Empathy: Executive Summary, Business Solver (2018)

17. Attiya Inam et al, Self-Compassion and Empathy as Predictors of Happiness among Late Adolescents in Social Sciences (2021)

18. Alexa M. Tullett et al, Testing the Link Between Empathy and Lay Theories of Happiness in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 42:11 (2016)

19. Ashley Abramson, Cultivating empathy in American Psychological Association (2021)

20. Sarah Konrath, cited in Ibid.

21. Amy Morin, LCSW, 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime at Amy Morin, LSCW (2013)

22. Shade Zahrai, Seven Traits Of An Emotionally Intelligent Leader in Forbes (2021)